


Hem-hem.

by dino



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-22
Updated: 2017-09-21
Packaged: 2019-01-03 22:10:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12155805
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dino/pseuds/dino
Summary: To let evil win, you don't have to go down the route of big grand gestures. Encourage mediocrity. Encourage stupidity. Laziness. Lack of accountability. Encourage that petty, small-minded, short-sighted thinking, and you've got a populace that doesn't need to be conquered. It's already conquered itself.





	1. Chapter 1

It was the start of fifth year, and the sorting hat had finished assigning houses, and Dumbledore stood up to give his annual speech. He introduced the new DADA professor, a mousy looking woman in pink from head to toe (down to a little pink pillbox hat) to the school. He asked her if she would like to say any words to the students. 

“Oh, Albus, I don’t think that’s necessary.”

Dumbledore gives her a smile, and says, “No, I insist. Please.”

Umbridge walks up to the podium. “It’s so good to see you all returning to school, ready to learn. I was sent here by the ministry to ensure that the students are all getting the most out of their experience at Hogwarts. Please understand that this is because of growing concern that academics have become too much of a focus, and you are not given enough time to just be children, and have fun. 

I promise to do everything in my power to ensure that you have plenty of access to the best education that Britain has to offer, as well as the best school experience of all the schools in the world! If anyone, for any reason, needs to talk, or share a cup of tea, or just relax for a little bit, please know that my office is open to you at any time. Thank you. I look forward to seeing you all in class.”

There was a murmur of excitement coming from the Gryffindor table. A professor wanted them to have fun? This is awesome! Harry and Hermione both looked mutinous. This didn’t bode well. The Ministry was in complete denial of the return of Voldemort, and it looked like Umbridge was here to be their spy. Who knew what lurked underneath that vapid pink smile? 

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Day 1 of DADA class

Umbridge walked into the class, and faced everyone with a vacant expression, and that ever-present smile.

“Class, please put away your wands. There are going to be a few changes in this class. There will be no more essays assigned. If you’re here in class, and are participating, you have learned the material. There will be no more homework in my class. As long as I know that you’re paying attention, and present, there is no need to assign homework. Homework is such a waste of time! You could be focusing your energies on resting, or socialising, or otherwise having fun.”

The class was palpably excited at this. No homework! This is going to be great! 

“Furthermore, I have received the Quidditch schedules from Professor Dumbledore. There will be NO tests, exams, quizzes, or any major projects due for two weeks before the Quidditch matches. This means that even if you’re on the team, your grades in my class will not suffer just because you have to spend your time after classes to practise.”

At this pronouncement, the entire class erupted into cheers. Umbridge smiled, and waited for the noise to die down. 

“I expect all of you to arrive to class on time every day. I expect you to have sufficient ink, parchment, and your textbooks every day. We will spend the first half of the class in taking notes on the material presented in the textbook. The second half will be spent in a discussion about the material, so that I know that you’ve taken the correct notes.”

Harry was livid. How would they learn defence against the dark arts if they never got to actually use their wands? He shouted out, "But we need PRACTICAL demonstrations of defence against the dark arts!"

Umbridge didn’t lose her composure. She was still smiling. "My dear boy. Your education in DADA has been spotty at best. I cannot risk accidents in my classroom. I need you all to start from the beginning, and we'll have to move at a slower pace, so that everyone has a chance to catch up. Unless you all WANT more homework, more exams, and more essays?"

Harry was about to start talking again, when he felt the heat of the death glares from every other student in the class (except Hermione).

“HARRY DOESN’T SPEAK FOR ME,” shouted Ron.

“OR ME,” said Seamus. 

There was a cascade of angry voices all of whom were saying some pretty foul things about Harry, and how Umbridge didn’t deserve to be treated like this. Umbridge held up her hand, still with the same vapid smile. 

"Now class. We mustn't be angry at a young man who yearns to stretch beyond the boundaries of his class. I agree, Harry. You will have 12 inches on the use of the protego charm on my desk first thing tomorrow morning. I'll make sure to assign you special assignments through the semester, so that you can get your wish. Now. Anyone else want my special tutoring?"

The noise dies down, but the heated looks do not. Harry looked gobsmacked. He had no idea how to deal with this. She was clearly up to something, but he couldn’t tell WHAT.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We start to see the beginnings of Umbridge's plan.

AT THE GRYFFINDOR COMMON ROOM

Harry, Ron, and Hermione were huddled by the fire, and talking in whispers.

“That toad is up to something. I don’t know what, but she is,” said Harry.

“You’re not wrong, Harry. But antagonising the entirety of your house isn’t going to do you any favours. Please. Just let her be, and we’ll keep studying on our own,” replied Hermione.

Harry’s face turned stormy. “If it means spending hours in the library with you, so BE it.” 

At that moment, Ron lost his temper. "They're both BARMY. Trying to get us extra homework? What is WRONG with them."

The rest of the people in the common room shot death glares at Harry and Hermione. 

Hermione said, “We’re not trying to get anyone extra homework. We’re just planning on studying ahead. Anyone who’d like to join us is welcome.”

Between murmurs of, “Not bloody likely,” the heat of the stares reduced a bit. Everyone figured that Hermione finally made Harry snap, and that the both of them had become equally study-mad. 

o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o

Umbridge settled down to a cup of tea (milk, and four sugars), and enjoyed a private moment of triumph. The students in her class were already policing each other towards people who didn’t want things to go her way. This was going to be too easy. Get enough people on your side, and all of a sudden, minor concerns like the re-emergence of The Dark Lord no longer hold water. It’s so easy to bend the stupid against each other.


End file.
